I dropped to my knees, lowered my gaze to the ground, and listened intently. Lectures, again. The same as always. How the world above I have yet to see is cruel; how only the strong can survive, how I must prove my worth to the Spider Queen; prove to her that I am worthy to be called her 'Daughter'.

As of now, I am a light elf. An elf blessed by Taniel. For us, it is disgusting. Elves are weak, and to be one is a disgrace.. hence my name, 'Varaja', which means 'Less than nothing' in the tongue of my clan. It isn't my true name.. I have yet to earn the right to my true name. I must first prove myself as an individual, prove that I'm more than just another.. thing.

All people of my clan are born as elves. Some consider it a curse to us. However, we consider it an opportunity.. an opportunity to sort the strong from the weak. During our time as elves, we are treated like objects, not people. After all, we are nothing, we do not deserve to be treated any better. But, we are taught. How to survive, how to use our wits and strength and agility to survive. To outlast and outwit others. How to serve the Queen of Chaos, to whom our souls are given at birth. Finally, when we reach the right age, we are given the chance to finish a small task.. a simple task, that proves we are worthy to survive, worthy to be considered people; to gain our true bodies.. to become darkelves.

We are set off into the surface world, for the first time. Never before have we seen it. We don't know what to expect, what we will find. But, that's part of the test; to survive in a foreign world, to learn how to rely on ourselves. Those who are strong will survive this world, find the altar, and gain their true bodies. Those who are weak fail, usually through death. But how they fail does not matter.. this task divides the weak from the strong in our clan. Hence, our clan is never full of failures. We can only improve.

Finally, my time came. To survive in this foreign world. My first impression was painful. The sun... that bright damn sun burned my eyes, eyes so used to embracing darkness. At first, I could only find myself travelling at night. Eventually though, my eyes were able to somewhat adjust to the light, though even today it's still uncomfortable.

As I spent time learning about this surface world, I could not help but feel disdain towards it. All this time, I was taught how to survive in the world, how dangerous it was, how the weak perished. Yet.. this is not what I saw. I saw a world dictated not by survival, but laws and protection.. fabricated ideals and morals. Pathetic; weaklings could hide in little holes, live happy little lives, without a single worry, because their precious 'laws' protected them, and the idiots around them conformed to this stupid standard that defied fate's selection.

I learned, even the gods were like this.. they could not survive in the 'real' world, I am sure. They have to isolate themselves in their own little safe corners of the world, walling themselves in silly laws and 'honor'. Even Lilith, the one I was taught to serve was like this. Her.. creatures.. spawns.. fumbling stupid things that could probably only survive because they breed faster than they're slain. It was pathetic. How could a god whose servants preach what they did, isolate herself from the rest of the world, coddle these weak creatures, and let the rest of the world live under this stupid logic of protecting the weak who cannot protect themselves?

Yes... all the gods were like this.. all but one. The Lord of Death and Destruction.. HE sees what the world should be. HE does not hide, nor protect stupid creatures that cannot protect themselves. HE only rewards those who are truly deserving, and HE moves to change the world to what it should be. HE does not show mercy to failures, HE expects us to survive what this world throws at us, instead of trying to hide from it.

HE knows the truth.. and so I gave my soul to HIM, to dedicate my life to changing the world to what it should be. Lilith gave me her wrath, expressed her anger for betraying her; for giving my soul to another. But I don't care. Who is it who truly betrayed the other? In time, my dedication to HIM will help me overcome this curse of weakness she put on me. And then I will be better than I ever was before.

Now I am a darkelf. I performed the ritual. I have gained my true name, Liriel Tyr'Breche. I have proven myself worthy. But, I was given my new body not by that manipulative goddess, but by HIM. I can feel HIS presence now, in my new body. But.. it's not enough; still too weak. I can tell, it's not an obsession.. it's more than that. The purpose of my life, I see it now. Not just to survive in this odd world, but to change it. I crave it; my soul craves to be an extension of HIM, to carry out HIS will... OUR will. HE knows the truth.. HE has true strength; true power. This addiction of what I don't yet have is painful.. nearly unbearable. I crave HIS power, I crave to feel HIS presence in my body. I crave to serve HIM. But, he will not grant me what I desire.. not until I prove myself worthy to HIM, not until I prove I deserve what I seek... and I know what I must do to earn this.

I will make this the ideal world HE and I want. Eventually, every ignorant person on this world will be given their ultimatium; to conform or die.. to respect HIS will, or to die in their foolishness. It doesn't matter to me which they choose. If they refuse, they are obviously too stupid to survive. If they conform.. well, HE will not coddle them. They will learn how to survive on their own, or they will join those who took the quicker route to death. One day, the people of my clan will be amongst these people given the ultimatium. "Will they listen to you?" Elizoren recently asked me. No, of course they won't. But I won't give them a choice in the matter, will I?

As HIS Child recently told me, nothing is done in one day. This will take time. For now, a group of people have accepted me, a group of people called the 'Asadrim'; loyalists to this city I now use as a place of trade and restocking my supplies. They now consider me one of their own. Am I loyal to this city, to its people? Of course not. The only one I am loyal to is HIM. But, as long as they serve HIS will, fight those who oppose HIM, and make this city the stronghold for HIS followers, I'll help them as necessary. During this time, I will gather my strength; I will make the necessary preparations. And then...

Soon, my Master, soon will be the time to create OUR world. Soon will be the time for me to embrace YOUR will. All in due time...